A Day in the Life…

Isn’t this the way we picture a typical day in the life of movie star and hottest-man-on-the-planet, Gerard Butler?

After a breakfast consisting of 12 raw eggs knocked back "Rocky" style (okay I added that part), there’s a quick workout shadow boxing on a NYC rooftop, followed by suiting up (probably D & G, maybe Tom Ford) to jump a motorcycle over a car and a quick rugby scrim (just to let off a little pent-up testosterone.)  After that, back in the suit, he jumps off a building (it’s not in the shot but I’m pretty sure he saved a damsel in distress first-or maybe her cat. Or both.)  Then he takes his buds to the cleaners at the poker table (Of course they don’t mind because he’s so damned charming,) before meeting a hottie on a helicopter pad. (Love the look he throws over his shoulder: "Ohhhh yeahhhh…") Of course the capper on his day,  it’s now time to grab said hottie and move in for a snog as if it’s his god given right to do so.

Isn’t it though? Isn’t it?

(And it’s a good thing that the product lasts 24 hours because you know the day doesn’t end there…) Nuff said.

So anyway…there was much kvetching and keening when it was announced that this L’Oreal campaign was for European consumption only. After having seen the ad, I have to say "thank you L’Oreal." If this commercial were for an American audience, they would have insisted on toning down the brogue, something which I am growing increasingly annoyed with. (Note to Hollywood-you want an American, hire an American. Stop trying to make Gerard Butler sound like he’s from Chicago by way of Yonkers.)  So, "Yay Europeans!" who don’t get bent out of shape when they hear an accent that’s different from their own and are quite capable of understanding it.

This ad still cracks me up. C’mon…take one hi-res look at Gerard Butler’s skin and you know he ain’t usin’ this stuff.  Oh well, who cares?  I find it irresistibly sexy, and as many times as I’ve watched the thing, they’ve almost got ME convinced to start using it. (hmmm…wonder if it does everything they say it does….)

My Daily Moment of Zen

"…You think you’re too good for me. Nobody’s too good for me! Anybody thinks they’re too good for me, I make sure I knock ’em over sometime. Right now, I could slap you around to show you how good you are and tomorrow, I’m someplace else and I don’t even know you or nothing. …"
Johnny (Marlon Brando) "The Wild One"

Are ya freakin’ kidding me?!? Holy fuck moley!

“We Are Here, We Are Here!”*

I owe a tip o’ the pin for The Horton Hears a Who reference (see convo below) Hopefully the reason for it will be come clear lol.

In any case,  this is my fourth, or is it fifth,  post in reference to "How to Train Your Dragon" and its chance for an Oscar nomination. Before you groan and wonder what more I could possibly have to say on the matter, let me just remind you that the long list was announced today…and I  do have some thoughts on the subject…

I read the news that 15 animated films made the cut and qualified for Oscar nominations and my initial reaction was "Woo Hoo! Now HTTYD is SURE to get one of the five!"

Not so fast… (did you hear that? that was the sound of the needle skipping on the record)

The headlines should have read that only 15 films made the cut. The magic number to ensure a field of five was 16. I knew that. I just forgot in my short-lived excitement.

Okay, so that means only THREE will be nominated! Three is not five. In fact it’s a long way from five.  While I still fully expect HTTYD to make the cut,  I, along with Jeffrey Katzenberg and the entire Dreamworks animation department, could be disappointed. With five available slots, I’d say that would never happen. With only three, anything is possible.

Three nominations essentially means that there are only two slots up for grabs since I believe with a 99.99% certainty that Toy Story 3 will get one of them. It is a virtual lock. Had there been five slots, I would have said HTTYD was also a virtual lock. As it is, I don’t want to jinx anything.

Here is the long list (in alphabetical order):

Alpha and Omega
Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Despicable Me
The Dreams of Jinsha
How to Train your Dragon
Idiots and Angels
The Illusionist
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
My Dog Tulip
Shrek Forever After
Summer Wars
Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
Toy Story 3

So which films get the other two slots? In an effort to be fair and impartial, I’ve decided to use the Bill Murray approach. (Does anyone remember Celebrity Corner? A segment of Weekend Update back when SNL was consistently funny? Have I just dated myself to the point that the eyes of anyone reading this have just glazed over?)

Actual conversation I had with a friend (who we’ll call Lola since she’s in the Witness Protection Program,)  when discussing the inception of this post:

Me: 5:58 pm
Damn you’d think i had some impact on this decision LOL
Lola:  5:58 pm
you never know. we are the Who’s on Horton’s speck*
every voice counts
Me: 5:58 pm
oh that’s good. can i steal it?
Lola: 5:59 pm
Me:5:59 pm
i think i’ll go with the old bill murray angle
Lola: 5:59 pm
Me: 6:00pm
do you remember SNL when he used to do his oscar picks?
Lola: 6:00 pm
lol no
Was I even born then?
Me:  6:01 pm
very low tech. he had this piece of cardboard with the names of the movies (or actors or whatever) on other strips of cardboard that attached with velcro. anyway he’d talk about a movie and if he didn’t think it would win he’d throw it out. for instance "Blah Blah Blah" "Never heard of it’ over the shoulder it went.
Lola: 6:01 pm
Me: 6:02 pm
His remarks were usually wittier than that
Lola: 6:02 pm
They’d have to be
Me:  6:03 pm
Bite me
anyway that’s the image in my head
Lola: 6:03 pm
OMG Paula Deen just said "spatchler" instead of spatula

(It was at this juncture I knew the conversation was over)

Anyway, I digress. (Hey… first one this post!)

First we’ll get rid of the obvious wanna-be’s…

Tinkerbell…  – Really? This movie’s only saving grace was the voice of Michael Sheen. It should have been straight to video, but it opened in LA JUST so it could pad this list. Sure it had a "tomatometer" score of 83%…of SIX reviews!  Next!

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore – Another list padder. The title sounds like a Bond villainess made a wrong turn at Petco. Next!

The Dreams of Jinsha, Idiots and Angels, and Summer Wars
Never heard of them.  (Academy voters will because they will arrive in the mail.) Next ! Next! and Next!

Shrek:Forever After – General consensus is that this is the weakest of the Shrek series. It was a hit, especially overseas, but took a drubbing from critics. – Enhhh…thanks for playing.

Alpha and Omega – In a year with so many really special animated films, this one is just okay. The animation was average and the voice cast was B-List at best. – Enhhh…thanks for playing.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole – Despite the fact that the visuals were stunning, the title is too long and hard to pronounce.  The PR blurbs say it’s based on the "beloved" books by Kathryn Lasky. I suppose I need to poll some children to know whether that’s true or not. Unfortunately I think "Watchmen" will be held against Zack Snyder and ruin his chances. Thank God he has "Sucker Punch" coming out, which has the same target audience as 300 did and is generating the same kind of internet buzz.  Bottom Line – Enhhh…thanks for playing.

Now we get to the high-brow, "art-house" animation. The films that most people say they like because it makes them feel cultured and intellectual if they can drop them into a conversation, despite the fact that they either a. didn’t see them or b. didn’t understand them….

My Dog Tulip – Okay so I have heard of this one. Only because I obsessively read about movies and the movie business. Joe Ticket-Buyer hasn’t since it made 0.1 million in its limited US release (it actually played TIFF in ’09) Joe Ticket-Buyer doesn’t make these decisions however, a jury  of animators does. It has a brilliant cast including Christopher Plummer and Lynn Redgrave (in her last performance. It very well may get a nod for this alone.) It’s also the first animated feature ever to be entirely hand drawn and painted utilizing paperless computer technology.  Bottom Line-Don’t count this one out.

The Illusionist
– Hasn’t opened yet but has very strong buzz. The director was also responsible for the multi-awarding winning "The Triplets of Belleville" (as well as a mediocre live-action film "Paris J e t’aime") Bottom Line-Don’t count this one out either

After the deep stuff, comes the popular stuff. Popular meaning populist…meaning the ones that Joe-Ticket Buyer bought a ticket for:

Despicable Me – Universal promoted the HELL out this and it payed off and made them a boatload of money. It also had an ad clip with a memorable line.  Tell me that if I write "IT’S SO FLUFFY!" you don’t hear that the way the little girl said it as she ran off with her giant stuffed animal. Gru looked like he was drawn by Charles Addams, which adds a bit of old-school panache (imho-the only one that counts on this page.)  Another top-drawer voice cast led by Steve Carrell and Russell Brand and the Bottom Line is only an idiot would count this one out.

– still in theaters which means it may have a leg up on the competition by virtue of the fact that Academy voters have ADD when it comes to remembering the movies that were released in the first half of the year. (I know Hurt Locker was supposed to be a harbinger of change on that score, but it’s too soon to call.) On average, it’s gotten more thumbs up than down in terms of critical response, and it features the voices of Brad Pitt, Will Ferrell and Tina Fey. The kids won’t care, but that’s what’s helping get the adult butts in the seats. Bottom Line- Only an idiot would count this one out as well.

Tangled – hasn’t even been released yet, so I’m only surmising it will make a heap o’ cash. The Disney promotion machine and its Thanksgiving opening (when the family is looking for something to do without killing each other and the kiddies have a couple of days out of school) pretty much ensure that it will, if it’s at all palatable. I think it will be…to the point of pablum. I think it looks kind of silly and the animation looks to be on a par with Alpha and Omega. Apparently there are some songs too. (It’s Disney. As long as there is ice in old Walt’s frozen body, there will be a Disney song nominated for an Oscar.) The voice cast is another B-List.  Donna Murphy is a wonderfully talented stage actress and I’ve been a fan since at least Murder One, but will anyone else recognize her voice? I might recognize Ron Perlman’s sonorous tones (and lord knows he has the face for voice work-Hey! I’m not hating, it’s fact. And I’m a huge fan of his work in Sons of Anarchy,) but that’s about it. Bottom Line-I have to go out on a limb and say Enhhh…thanks for playing.

That brings us to our two front runners…

How to Train Your Dragon – Do I really need to say it again? I’ve been saying it since April. Aside from TS3, this,  is the only other film on this list that I had no doubt would be here. It won’t be eligible for Best Foreign Film the way The Illusionist will. As much as I’d like it to be, I don’t think it will be nominated for one of the 10 Best Picture slots, the way I believe TS3 will be.  The film told a tale that’s been told many times before, about a boy and his father, of what it’s like to be a misfit, an outsider and to finally find love and acceptance, and told it in a way that made it seem fresh. The animation was spectacular, the voice cast perfection. The movie not only had tremendous "legs", which normally means a film that can go the distance and hold its own, it became more popular, in the truest sense of the word, as time went on due to positive word of mouth.  Any other year, I think this movie would not only have a lock at a nomination, it would have a lock on the win.  As it is, it will take an upset of Hurt Locker vs Avatar proportions for it to win. But Bottom Line- I believe this will get a nomination.

The 600 lb gorilla is, of course, Toy Story 3– As I stated earlier, not only is this one sure to get a nomination, and deservedly so, but I believe (unless, as I also stated above, there is a huge upset) it will also win the Best Animated Feature category. When the original Toy Story came out in 1995 and its sequel in 1999, there was no Best Animated Feature category. Much like Return of the King, which was arguably the best of the Lord of the Rings series, Toy Story 3 will win not only because it is the best of the three Toy Story movies, but because the others didn’t. On its own merits, it was not only HUGELY popular, but it was brilliant. Despite the fact that I am rooting for HTTYD, I can in no way find fault with this one.  As I said above, I think it will get a nomination for Best Picture as well as Animated Feature. (Which may actually help HTTYD’s chances. If TS3 is nominated in both categories and HTTYD, despite Mr. Katzenberg’s best efforts, is not- it may pull out a win as Animated Feature.)  Bottom Line- I believe this will not only get a nomination, it will win the category.

But damn it, it’s STILL only November! I’m getting worked up about this AS IF I ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT! I should be on Dreamworks’ payroll.

This just in–Moviefone and the Washington Post have both announced their early picks:

‘Despicable Me’
‘How to Train Your Dragon’
‘Toy Story 3’

Oh well…don’t expect this to be the last you hear on this subject.

Thanks for reading…here’s something shiny:

Calm down!

It’s time for the loonies and the "mommies" to calm the f*ck down.

WTF is all of this non-sense about eating disorders simply because G chose not to eat the offerings at an after party the other night. Is it possible he just, oh I don’t know, wasn’t hungry??

FFS, one reporter from one news source makes an unfounded comment about how he only drank water and "refused" the hors d’oeuvres and it boomerangs all over the net (which of course means, around the world. Because G’s popular in India, I get Google alerts from the Hindu Times among others) as if it’s fact and now people (read loonies and mommies) are ringing their hands over it and “worrying” about him. "He’s too thin! He’ll make himself sick" "Oh woe is me!

They’re all remembering when G talked about the 500 calorie diet (that he apparently embarked on to combat, what I can only assume were devastating, pics from Barbados) several times during the LAC press tour. One I remember was the Bonnie Hunt Show, a few minutes before he ate a fried Mars bar. He’s a man of extremes. IMHO that’s part of his appeal. I do know this much, he doesn’t know nor care that a bunch of women he’ll never meet are worried about what he puts in his mouth…

And that’s another thing…
In one breath a vocal and acid tongued bunch are upset about his appearance at a well known fashion show the other night. A show he’s been going to for years, by the way.  They are up in arms about how ‘skeebie’ it is that  G and all of those other known ‘hound dogs’ were in the front row. I’ve got news for you-those seats are invite only and the people in them are hand picked. It’s called publicity! The show and the pics from it were everywhere yesterday. The PR gurus in charge of the show knew exactly what they were doing.

A lot has also been made about how those "poor models" must have felt like lambs to the slaughter–PAHLEEASE!

I’m pretty sure that 1. they aren’t paying much attention to who was in the 1st row, but rather how not to fall on their faces in their 5″ Giuseppe Zanotti’s.
and 2. They are undoubtedly used to men staring at them. Are we to believe that Mss Ambrosio, Lima, Ebanks et al are only interested in strutting their stuff with the altruistic hope that it will inspire more women to do those crunches and take that Zumba class and above all, buy more underwear, to raise their self-esteem, but with no thought at all to pleasing a man? Uh huh.
Psssst…The VS Fashion Show is MARKETED to men! As many men “read” the catalog as women, perhaps more. They don’t broadcast it in primetime because a handful of women are going to watch it!

Bottom line, G does appear to be a hound dog. Newsflash, he likes models. Lots and lots of models. (And from the photographic evidence I’ve seen, they like him too.) Case closed?

Not so fast…

The flip side is that the old rumors about what he’s actually "doing" with those models and whether they are FWBs or just "galpals" has reared its ugly head again. Why? On the basis of his HALLOWEEN COSTUME!!  No, seriously. I’m not kidding.

At first no one could figure out what it was supposed to be, but all anyone could focus on was the fluffy fuschia boa.  (Can you hear my eyes rolling?) Personally, I’m going with some sort of punk/glam rocker hybrid (Adam Ant inspired maybe? I’ve said this before. As usual, I digress.) Call me crazy, but I thought it was hot. Anyway, this might have died a quiet death if not for the fact that some personal photos appeared yesterday and were posted on a website that does not discriminate whatsoever.  They apparently have no boundaries in terms of what they will openly (and by openly I mean what non-members can view) discuss or what pics they will post.
These "private" photos were then snagged by visitors to this site and posted elsewhere. (Was it smart for whoever they belonged to to put them in a public photobucket account? Probably not. That mistake appears to have been rectified.)

So, not only has his orientation been called into question because he chose to have makeup applied and he adorned himself with feathers (again ON HALLOWEEN!! The bizarre and the freakish are practically mandatory and on that scale, this was pretty tame) but because of his choice of companions on that night. He and a friend (supposedly a known "member of the church") dressed in similar costumes (mind you, this same companion also attended the VS show…hmmm) and so the analysing begins anew.

Ridiculous. He’s a womanizing playa-He’s gay. He’s found the right woman at last-He’ll never settle down. He spends all of his time chasing women-He spends too much time with his guy friends.  Who cares!  Personally I don’t give a rat’s posterior where he’s dipping any part of his anatomy because all I know for sure is that it ain’t with me. Anything else is his business and none of mine.

Either way (or both ways, I’m not judging)  WILL NOT DIMINISH HIS SEX-APPEAL NOR THE UNDENIABLE YET UNEXPLAINABLE  "IT" FACTOR WITH WHICH HE WAS BORN, ONE LITTLE BIT. He’s still the hottest thing I’ve ever clapped eyes on (and has been for going on four and a half years now.)

IMHO he looks fantastic. He got the hair trimmed, okay as long as he doesn’t lop it all off any time soon. Trimmed the beard too (although not the neck. I’m thinking he’s going for full on TIFF ‘05/Leonidas beard. Must be for a role-I can hope right?) Personally, I loved the velvet blazer, but I’m a notorious fool for velvet. (me and George Costanza)

Tomorrow is the man’s 41st birthday, and while there’s not much doubt that the numbers are starting to freak him out a bit, it is just a number and especially for someone’s whose future is so bright he does need those shades!

I’d love to be there (wherever "there" turns out to be) to help him blow out his the candles, my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. So I’ll just say this:

"Happy Birthday G. You’re not getting older, you’re getting better. And I wish you many happy returns of the day."

A brief retrospective with visuals…

I really could keep going. "My {bucket} is deep and full of magic. I got rabbits, handkerchiefs, and ladies of the pole drinking Black Label. I got smoke machines, bubble machines, I even got love marines, and still the {bucket} goes deeper…but there AIN’T no motherf*ckin’ dry ice!"

My Daily Moment of Zen

Last night was the one night of the year when, if he’s in NYC, we are guaranteed to get a pic of G out and about…the night he makes his yearly pilgrimage to worship at the altar of the epitome of feminine pulchritude: the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  Must be some sort of high holy day for him (the way the Oscars are for me, so I don’t judge.)

I was rewarded for getting out of bed this morning, thusly….*sound of cherubim and seraphim hitting high-C*

I have no words…

**thanks to JustJared for the pic

I’m Looking More Prescient Every Day

…slap me if I get obnoxious…

Same Dog with the same Bone here, but this is getting good.

Deadline Hollywood posted an article, ostensibly about the Best Animated Feature category and the likelihood of only three nominations versus five, in which it seems to be  the general consensus among Hollywood-types and Oscar pundits that How to Train Your Dragon will be among the three nominations (or five) for Best Animated feature.

What’s interesting is that the article also revealed that Dreamworks is indeed hoping for a Best Picture nomination as well. (Hmm…pretty sure I called that too**) Producer Bonnie Arnold is quoted as saying "it is nice to be recognized by the animation community itself,  but it’s also nice to be recognized as a film. It’s just a good movie that’s in competition with other good movies no matter what the medium, whether it is live action, animation or whatever. There are 10 nominations now. I genuinely feel it is one of the best pictures of the year.”

Anyway, before I get too smug (since it is still only November and we won’t know anything for sure until January when nominations are announced,) I just have to say that I agree. But you knew that.

Here’s a link to the full article:  www.deadline.com/2010/10/oscar-animation-entries-down-to-wire-but-will-there-be-enough-for-5-nominees/

** weetiger3.livejournal.com/14194.html