Michael Fassbender is Gonna Suck…Blood

Some good news for a Monday: The invasion of Hollywood blood suckers continues and no, I don’t mean agents. I’m referring, of course to vampires, which have gone from hot to ubiquitous in recent years. Proving as resilient as Dracula himself, there is apparently no end to the inventive permutations the fanged -ones lend themselves to.

Aside from the classical, Victorian image of the suave and sexy Count in perpetual fancy dress (Frank Langella in 1979’s Dracula still makes my knees weak), over the years there have been pretty, brooding vampires (Interview with the Vampire from 1994, Dracula 2000 and all of the Twilight films), space vampires (1985’s Lifeforce), MMA Ninja vampires (the Blade Trilogy), trailer trash vampires (1987’s Near Dark), lesbian vampires (2009 Vampire Killers), dominatrix-lesbian vampires (1983’s The Hunger – anyone remember the short-lived offshoot tv series in 1997?) Speaking of tv, there are the Cajuns of "True Blood" and the Abercrombie & Fitch models of "The Vampire Diaries" (and don’t get me started on the original British version of "Being Human’s" Aidan Turner-holy schnikey!)

While the emo kids of the Twilight Series might be fading into the sunset, (or is it dawn?) we have the quasi-historical stylings of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, to look forward to next year. (I am looking forward to it-it has such a crazy cast that I just have to see it. Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Mary Todd Lincoln?) Just when it seemed the craze had wound down and played itself out, we get news that two of film’s most iconoclastic directors, Neil Jordan and Jim Jarmusch, both have vampire-themed pics in the pipeline.

The Hollywood Reporter announced last week that Jordan has cast Gemma Arterton and Saoirse Ronan as mother and daughter (!!) vampires in Byzantium from a script by Jane Eyre scribe Moira Buffini.

Yesterday it was announced that Jarmusch will make an as yet untitled vampire love story. What really has my socks rolling up and down about this news is that he has reportedly cast Michael Fassbender (rapidly becoming the hardest working man in show biz-and yes, I said that too. Get used to it) as a freakin’ VAMPIRE! "Uncle Peter! My smelling salts!"* Oh yeah, and Tilda Swinton and Mia Wasikowska will be in it too. Needless to say, I will be keeping a close eye on more news about this one.

Filming will reportedly begin in early 2012.

*with a tip o’ the pin to Margaret Mitchell and a wink to KB

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