Colin Farrell Can Bite Me

As you know, I’m on the record as not being a fan of remakes in general (despite the fact that I liked the True Grit do-over, ) so I don’t have especially high hopes for this Fright Night rehash.

Touchstone has posted the official trailer to YouTube so, since I do everything the internet tells me to do, I gave it a look. 

Alright, so I didn’t  hate it. I didn’t curl my nose in distaste and immediately switch the channel. While I do think Anton Yelchin is even more slight and less-likely-to-get-laid than William Ragsdale,  ironically I do think he has better chemistry with his way-hotter-than-Amanda Bearse girlfriend, Imogen Poots. Her name gives me an immature chuckle, but Poots (Centurion, Jane Eyre) can also act. I don’t see a "Married with Children" in her immediate future.

Toni Collette replacing Dorothy Fielding is not bad on its face. It just makes me feel old. I thought it was an odd choice both for the film and for Collette until I looked up director Craig Gillespie. They’ve worked together on "United States of Tara." His film cv is spare and uneven. His first feature, Lars and the Real Girl, was brilliant. Mr. Woodcock…heinous. Basically that means this film is a crapshoot. He’s already been given the reins to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, so someone with money has faith in him. (Even if he was third choice behind David O. Russell and Mike White, who both quit over money.)

Christopher Mintz-Plasse needs to grab all the gusto he can. Realistically, he’s a niche player (what is he now, 30?) and when he gets too old to play the nerdy outsider…it’s gonna be signing "McLovin’" autographs in a Jersey mall. I think that’s where Stephen Geoffreys, into whose shoes he steps for this film, was last spotted.  (There is always voice work. Have I mentioned lately that I’m looking forward to How to Train Your Dragon 2?)

David Tennant’s Peter Vincent appears but briefly, but I have seen stills. Apparently, his character is no longer inspired by vintage Hammer films, but by Vegas and magician/illusionist Criss Angel. Whatever. I don’t worship at the altar of Dr. Who, although thanks to my ex I do appreciate the Jon Pertwee (I appreciate his son Sean even more…but I digress) through Peter Davidson years, so I have no feeling about Tennant one way or another, nor do I feel particular allegiance to Roddy McDowell.

So let’s face it…none of the above would make me change my mind about this film.  And then came Colin.

Don’t get me wrong. Chris Sarandon’s Jerry Dandridge was smooth, suave and dangerously sexy. Despite his very extensive list of credits, it is the role for which he will be remembered. JMHO

Colin Farrell as Jerry Dandridge, judging from the scant minutes I saw him in this trailer, appears more gritty, more earthy (ironically enough) but definitely dangerously sexy.  Holy crap, I hope there’s a lot more neck licking in the actual film! I’m counting on this to be portents of things to come… (yeah, I’m still sayin’ stuff.)

It is for this reason, Colin Farrell and the possibility of on-screen licking and biting,  that I am now officially looking forward to this movie. It’s been a cold spring…I need some steam heat!  There appear to be more pyrotechnics in this version and it has been filmed in the dreaded 3D, but I see no mention of an actor playing Billy Cole, so I assume they’ve done away with the homo-erotic subtext, they have to come up with something to fill the gap.

I believe I’ve mentioned I have a vampire fetish, so it should surprise no one that Colin…er Jerry…(Gerry?) can bite me any time, any where. He has a standing invitation to enter my apartment. He can even use the door (because everyone knows a vampire has to be invited in.)


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4 responses to “Colin Farrell Can Bite Me

  1. Do I need to get you a “Team Colin/Jerry” shirt? LMAO

    Still looks like he needs a dip….yes I know that is part of the appeal.

    As with nmost I’ll let you watch first and then decided if it’s worth seeing. 😉

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