First, let’s all agree that The Expendables was much more fun than it had any right to be. So naturally, that begot Expendables 2, because if it’s good, more is better, right? Well, no not necessarily. But the sequel was mindless fun to munch popcorn by, and the producers are smart enough to release this nonsense in the “Dog Days” of August when we’re all so beaten down by the heat (and we’ve seen everything else), that it doesn’t matter as long as the theater is air-conditioned.
In that vein, and because both 1 and 2 made stacks of cash, Sylvester Stallone and company are back for “one last ride” in Expendables 3. (Yeah right. We’ll see how much this one makes before we believe it’s the “last”.) They do have a few things going for them with this installment, not the least of which is a script by Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedickt, the duo responsible for Olympus Has Fallen (and its in-pre-production sequel, London Has Fallen). So…yeah, there’s that.
This time around Stallone and Jason Statham, along with three-peaters Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Arnold Schwarzenegger (sort of – he was ‘uncredited’ in the first one), drag along Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas, Kellan Lutz, Wesley Snipes, Robert Davi, MMA fighter Ronda Rousey (making her film debut), welter-weight boxing champ Victor Ortiz (making HIS) and…Kelsey Grammer. Wait…what? I enjoy Gibson’s level of crazy (at least on screen where it belongs – he’s getting help for the rest of it) and lords knows Snipes needs the money, but…hmmm…one of these things is not like the other…
Oh well. Peep this short teaser, with its electrified version of “The Colonel Bogey March”:
Still here? Check out this one set to Billy Squire’s “The Stroke” (Bit of trivia: I didn’t think it was actually Billy Squire. I thought it was probably a cover by a Warrant-wanna be or something, but it is in fact an unreleased remix of the song by Squire. Phew!):
Finally, we get a full-length trailer:
Okay, okay, UNCLE! I give. The big screen has suffered from a decided lack of The Stath and his manly muscled head of late and this just looks too silly to pass up. So, I’m in. For a matinee. But then I’m done. Seriously…
The final game begins 14 August in the UK and August 15 in the US.